May 12 2009

It's been more than a month since I last posted a blog, so I definitely am gonna compose a long one. So ready your coffee 'cause this is gonna take A LOT of your time....haha. I'm just kidding. It won't take too long though, but that's for you to judge. Of course, you don't necessarily have to ready your coffee...unless you want to.

First of, the reasons why I'm blogging now is because I can't log into WoW due to terrible Internet connection, WoW is now undergoing maintenance & I've got nothing else to do. And so, I might as well update my blog.

Sitting in a dark cold room, listening to Killswitch Engage, drinking Coke and wondering what the hell should I blog about first. Scratching my head & feeling the pain from my finger, remembering that I had a cut on my middle finger from playing the cajon for too long until the skin dried up, cracked and ended up as a cut. It's not fully healed yet, but it sure still stings if I stretch my finger too much. Apart from that my right palm's swollen and apparently thicker than my left. All of this is from playing the cajon. If you don't know what a cajon is, a cajon (pronounced ka-hon) is a Latin percussion instrument, which can produce the same sound as a high pitch snare drum, and a bass drum. It's made out of wood (type of wood varies with different companies that manufacture cajons) and it's shaped like a box.

On May 9th 2009, my band, Quadro Forte from SIA, had our first showcase at Sedco Square (I hope I got that one right). And it was a BLAST! A successful performance once again. Although I injured my hands in the process and go through a few stressful moments, I would have to say that it was all worth it. Even though I didn't get to go to KL & perform for the band Sasuka as their session drummer, I have no regrets & I'm glad I got to perform with my friends & have a good time. Gigs in KL can wait. I remember an advice a friend of mine told me once. He said " Local fans first."

I'm quite frustrated with my home internet connection nowadays. Last time, I was able to play WoW with some minor lags and I don't mind. Usually it'll just go up to about 900 ms. But nowadays, it shoots up to 15K and I don't know what the hell is going on and why. But I guess I'll just have to wait until the line here gets better, which might be forever. Bloody hell. Anyway, apart from all that cursing, I've made friends with some nice Filipino chaps from WoW. Thanks to Richard though for helping me out with instances & introducing me to them. Had it not been for them, I doubt I'd be having the gears that I have today. WoW (World of Warcraft, if you didn't know) is undoubtedly an expensive game to play, because you have to pay to keep on playing. For me, I have to pay 110 ringgit for every two months, but I can say it's worth it.

It's been a while since I actually practiced playing the drums. And with that, my rudiments, sticking coordination & timing are a bit off. My right leg's feeling a bit rusty too due to the lack of practice and fencing training. Why fencing training? Well, the training strengthens my legs and it helps me play the bass drum at a fast tempo and last for a long time. The training also helped me with the "swivel" and "heel-toe" technique. But as a seasoned and experienced drummer, I'm sure practicing and going for training again will help fix my problems.

I was suppose to update this post but I'm too lazy. However I will be posting a new one some time soon....or maybe later.

March 26, 2009

I just got back home from band practice with Eman, Jude, Nev, Les & Juliet. We had practice at Moe's Music Studio. They renovated the place and it's better than last time. Frankly saying, it was like a shit hole back then. Unfortunately though, the instruments are still sort of crappy, but still within the tolerable range.

Eman & I were thinking of changing the name of our band, because the name Empty Paper sounds like broken English. If we named it Blank Paper, it just sounds weird. And we joked around like naming the band Bosou, or Manuk, or Pantat Manuk, Tuhau, Lihing, Lakai-lakai, hideh-hideh, etc.. It was kinda funny and fun, and I came up with all the stupid names like We The Queens, or like er...I forgot. But what ever.


I now understand why, and I'll be taking it absolutely slow, and I'll wait for as long as it takes.
I mentioned briefly of what's going on with me & her to my dad when we were having late lunch at Karamunsing yesterday evening. Apparently it's normal to have mothers to be very protective of their daughters and be such a tigress. I'm hated by her, and she assumes that I'm a typical kampung-ish Dusun guy who's a good for nothing drunkard who's not doing anything productive in life, when here I am, actually studying music and thinking of my future of what to do next, about my next move, what I should do as a musician, etc..

I found out she came back almost a week ago, and I didn't know it through her. I knew it through someone else. I wondered why she didn't tell me at all that she was coming back when she could have while she was still in Singapore. She explained why when I found her in Palm Square the day I found out she came back already. I'm still not sure if I should believe her or not. Because everything she said seems very, fishy. But I just tolerated it. I nearly blew up that time and just ended our 'friendship' there on the spot, but no, as usual I just kept quiet about it and just let it be.

So the next day, I brought her present from the house to Warisan, have it wrapped & stuff. I tried calling her up because she said her phone's with her the previous day. But I kept on trying, and trying, but no answer. So I sent a few messages to that number asking why & what's wrong & stuff. Still no reply. It was not until 3 plus did I get a message from her mentioning about stuff & that we can't meet up. Before you jump to conclusions, no, it's not entirely her fault. But it just a bit fishy. But what ever, I tried looking at it at a different perspective, and just, let it go.

Now, I'm still thinking of my next move, and wonder if that next move will be for the best, or for the worst.

I know you all are thinking "Ah Kevin, being emo again la what the hell. Go die la you faggot."
Well hey, this is my way of coping with some of the things that I need getting off my chest ok. If you can't understand that, then you're definitely not a good friend and I regret knowing you.

I'm not sulking in a corner and crying all by myself and pitying myself for getting myself into this shit hole. I'm doing something about it and I'm working my fucking ass off to try and get over it and ignore it and letting it go. And I'll be fine. I just need some time to figure things out. That's all.

Cheers.

15th March 2009

Ok, firstly, the fencing competition finals result. I got second place, which was actually more than what I had expected because of my absence from fencing training almost a year due to studies & work. I lost to one of my juniors though. He got much better due to his consistency in training and his experience when they all went for SUKMA last year and China for something that I forgot. *sigh* I missed out a lot. But never mind. This year, I'm going to concentrate a lot more in sports and try to still be able to do what I do best; music.

So now that's done, the next thing I've gotta concentrate on is my next gig with Quadro Forte at Hyatt. Can't wait to perform with my mates again =D . Well, that's all for now, and I'll update you people regarding the gig when it's done.

Till then, CHEERS!

What Hurts The Most

I can take the rain on the roof of this empty house
That don’t bother me
I can take a few tears now and then and just let them out
I’m not afraid to cry every once in a while
Even though going on with you gone still upsets me
There are days every now and again I pretend I’m ok
But that’s not what gets me

What hurts the most
Was being so close
And having so much to say
And watching you walk away
And never knowing
What could have been
And not seeing that loving you
Is what I was tryin’ to do

It’s hard to deal with the pain of losing you everywhere I go
But I’m doin’ It
It’s hard to force that smile when I see our old friends and I’m alone
Still Harder
Getting up, getting dressed, livin’ with this regret
But I know if I could do it over
I would trade give away all the words that I saved in my heart
That I left unspoken

What hurts the most
Is being so close
And having so much to say
And watching you walk away
And never knowing
What could have been
And not seeing that loving you
Is what I was trying to do

What hurts the most
Is being so close
And having so much to say
And watching you walk away
And never knowing
What could have been
And not seeing that loving you
Is what I was trying to do

Not seeing that loving you
That’s what I was trying to do

First Post

Since some of my friends have a Blogspot account, and that blogging in the notes section in Facebook isn't such a good idea and quite boring, I've decided to open up a Blogspot account as well. I've got nothing much to say yet, but in time, I'll post up a few stories of my life, of what's happened, of what's happening, & what might happen.

Till then readers & friends, cheers & CIAO!